Personal Blog 13

 It's Friday night of the second  week of school. I meant to post last week but I didn't. It's going well so far, I'm excited for this year.

- Basil 

Personal Blog 12

A lot happened today. I'm so happy I have the friends that I do. There's no one I'd rather be than me. No matter what you do the end is always the same, we all will die. That's why your choices matter so much. What's happening now and what you do with your now is all that will ever matter. It makes no difference if you are remembered or make a difference. You did something only you could ever do, you lived as you.

You can't control what has been or what will be, but you can control what is, because when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. You are the most wonderful, unique thing to ever exist because you are YOU. You define your reality. Nobody else. Release your inhibitions. Turn your head and change your point of view. Every moment is a choice. Everything you do is you deciding. It would be easy if we really had no choice but to keep chugging along, or if our worst moments didn't define us, but we do have a choice to give up, and our worst moments do define us, but so does every other waking living breathing moment! I despise the notion of perfection, I refuse to believe that Life Sucks and then You Die, I refuse to believe in a wicked God. There is something wonderfully beautiful about imperfection. About flaws. And everyone is just like you, but will never be anything like you. Life is so beautiful. Even in war and injustice, people fight and live and are beautiful and raise flags with a straw hat or an s on them and choose to hope and believe, not because of any special magical power in hope, but because they chose to.

Don't waste time regretting the choices you made, they're the only ones you could have made. It never could have gone differently because then it wouldn't have been YOU. Please choose to love life. It's your last chance, anyhow. Heaven is found right here on the earth.

Tonight I am hopeful.

- Basil

Personal Blog 11

V + K watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower without me. I had read that book at the end of the school year in my AP Lit class and the three of us were waiting to watch it with V when they finished the book. They finished the book at camp. The two of them watched Wallflower without me. I found out through them both putting their notes on Instagram as "at that moment, I felt infinite" and "we are infinite." I asked V if they watched it without me. Apparently they both assumed I had already watched it. They never even asked. V didn't even apologize when I said I hadn't seen it. It made me feel like shit.

I don't think I ever want to watch Wallflower now.

- Basil

Personal Blog 10

Thinking about the national anthem. The lyrics are good, the music writing is terrible, it is a genuinely boring composition. But the reason I'm thinking about it is because the last line of the song is a question.

"Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?"

Do we still live in the land of the free and the home of the brave? I know the original question is asking if the flag is still flying high after a battle, but in the context of the country we live in now, are we living up to that? I wanted to try changing around the lyrics of the national anthem, to make the entire song a question.

"
Oh, say, could you see
by the dawn's burning light,
in which proudly I hoped,
at my childhood's beginning-
whose red stripes and pale stars,
in the blinding dim night,
through the ceiling we watched;
were they gallantly streaming?

Did the rockets' red glare,
the bombs bursting in air,
give proof through the night
that our flag was still fair?
Oh, say, did that
star-spangled banner ever wave
o'er the land of the free
and the home of the brave?
"

That was probably very cringe but I don't really care. Anyway band camp was really fun. I spent a lot of time with Gavin making a gross blue concoction meant to mimic blue juice valve oil.

Next time.

- Basil

Personal Blog 9

K came over to my house today (when I say today I mean the 27th, it is 1:00 AM right now), my family is in New Hampshire now, I'll be meeting them in New Jersey this Friday since I had to stay for the rest of band camp. Band camp has been fun but stressful because of my leadership duties. I watched Lesbian Vampire Hunters with K, it was a really fun and stupid movie, and I played some more of Sally Face with him. G is going to stay over Wednesday because my sister will be out with her boyfriend so I'll be home alone.

Talk later.

- Basil

Personal Blog 8

 Went on a rant in the comment section of a rather single minded video on societies relationship with close male friendships and homosexuality. Here is the unadulterated copy and paste.

"

Friendship is not lesser than romance 

Edit: I would also like to say that this whole deal is a two sided coin. Because of the desire to have more representation or with malicious intention, people will project queerness onto characters/people, and in defensiveness or in malice people will deny any existence of gayness in a piece of media. It's a cycle like most things in life. 

To provide actual examples; for the former, you already showed Lord of the Rings and Frog and Toad as examples. I believe Arnold Lobel explicitly stated that Frog and Toad were good friends and not romantic when asked. While the idea of death of the author makes this point irrelevant, the books themselves only ever show them being good friends and not in a romantic relationship. Sam and Frodo have a close bond that is only ever described as friendship. 

For the latter, The Picture of Dorian Gray features the character Basil Hallward who explicitly has romantic and possibly sexual feelings for Dorian even after the edits that were made to the book in an attempt to censor any homosexuality involved in the book. There are copies available that show the differences between Oscar Wilde's original text and the edited version, and the intent of censorship becomes obvious. Another example of this is how the story of Jekyll and Hyde as evolved from it's original novella, A Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote this book very hurriedly after legislation was passed in England that effectively criminalized homosexuality. In the original text Hyde is meant to be a version of Jekyll that lives without guilt or shame, which allows Jekyll to act on things he has always wanted to but repressed due to Victorian societal pressures. This version of him quickly becomes dangerous, though, as it shows how this version of Jekyll can lash out in anger and do things on a whim like murder, because he feels no guilt or shame in doing it. The only person Hyde murders in the book, though, is Sir Danvers Carew, a member of parliament, seemingly unprovoked at first, but in the context of why Stevenson wrote the book, it's clear why Hyde was suddenly struck by the fit of rage. The book is very clearly a criticism of what Victorian society considered right and moral, but later adaptations of Jekyll and Hyde alter the story, turning Hyde into a serial killer and the embodiment of evil, while Jekyll is the poor doctor who went too far, and many of these adaptations, such as the Jekyll and Hyde musical, fabricate multiple female love interests for Jekyll, when in the original text, the only person he ever shows affection towards is his partner Robert Lanyon. This affection is often argued over whether it is romantic or simply deep friendship, and that is up to interpretation, but ultimately the book was a criticism of the passing of the Labouchere Amendment, and that is what really mattered about the book, and later interpretations hide the original intent behind the book (pun not intended). 

I went into more detail with the second point because I believe that many people in this comment section already understand the first. 

For an actual critique of the video, I think what is being discussed is very important and your points are very good and I believe the intent behind the video is good. My one issue is the constant reference to, "them." Who is, "they?" A generalization of society? I think ultimately people have their own motivations for things, and I think that most people are not maliciously trying to erase male friendship. Any person can have an interpretation of a piece of media whether right or wrong, and most people will try to push their interpretation as the truth a great majority of the time, from my experience. I think making everything, "us versus them," is a dangerous thing that only worsens any problem. people are people. Each person is unique with their own motivations. Anyone can take anything they want out of a book and it's what that book meant to them, regardless of what the author intended. I think the issue is people seeking to push what they think as the truth. Getting mad about things deepens issues, living by example and ignoring what people say heals divides. 

(as an extra note, C.S. Lewis' words here do not hold weight because they are coming from his mouth, it's because what he is saying is true. I don't think that anyone should value his words more than anyone else's. Point is, C.S. Lewis' arguments about the invisible cat here hold a level of hypocrisy when you take into account his arguments for Christianity, "Liar, lunatic, or lord," so using his name as a way of supporting what he is saying is iffy at best.)

"

Not a very personal one today.

- Basil

Personal Blog 7

 Today was the first day of band camp. I'm the low brass section leader so it was a bit stressful, but everyone had a pretty good attitude about everything. This one freshman named A had never played an instrument before and picked up baritone amazingly fast. Yesterday I got K to continue with OMORI and he actually got really into it. He was really quiet during the barn scene and then started crying at the part where you open the door to Kel. I really hope he enjoys the rest of the game.

Goodnight.

- Basil

Edit: I also have been having late night calls with my friends and it's been really fun.

Personal Blog 6

 I had band leadership camp this past week. Lots of conversations about the changes you would like to see in yourself. I want to be a better listener and communicator, and I want to show all the people I care about that I really do care. I'm really hopeful for band this year, I think things will go well. I've been trying to convince J to rejoin marching band as a trombone, and I had a very candid and honest conversation with B at the end of the last day. G is my accountability partner for our goals, he's trying to write in his diary more. I also went to see the new Superman movie with G and J and it was genuinely amazing. It had a beautiful message about love and kindness. I cried during the parents scene and during the scene with the flag. It was amazing.

Up up and away!

- Basil

Personal Blog 5

 Worked on my Flameheart cosplay hat today, it didn't go too well and I got frustrated. I went to work on some music I've been writing though and it went well for once, so that was nice.

Bye again.

- Basil

Personal Blog 4

I had a sleepover with my best friend K last night, and it was great. It was kind of sad because my other best friend V couldn't make it because of some prep stuff going on for their camp counseling, but it was still fun anyway. We watched Ms. Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children and he had me play Sally Face and I had him play OMORI. I'm having a hard time getting into Sally Face but I've enjoyed doing the voiced and have been interested in the mystery of it. I really enjoy spending time with K. I feel so comfortable and happy around him. He's really kind to a fault and he's really passionate about the things he loves, he's really funny and I love listening to him. It's hard hanging out with him sometimes though because I have deeper romantic and sexual feelings for him, and for a while I just didn't want him to know, but he found out and stuff hasn't changed between us, but he doesn't feel the same way but I can't really do anything about the way I feel. I do love him a lot. K, V, and I are really physically close and comfortable and we cuddle a lot when we hang out. There was also summer marching band practice today but yeah.

Goodnight.

- Basil

Personal Blog 3 - DELTARUNE Theory

Copy pasted from a comment I made

Call me crazy but I'm still in the Ralsei is a Lightner camp (well, not necessarily a Lightner, but certainly not a Darkner). While there's some things i could point out as evidence in game, I don't really care about proving it that way. From how i see the direction of the story, Ralsei CANNOT be a Darkner or the messages and themes of the game will conflict with each other too much. As much as people don't want to think about it, DELTARUNE will have to end, and it will have to have a resolution. From how it's been going so far, the dark worlds are an allegory for escapism and the ways in which we interact with fiction. 1. Darkners are not just personifications of their objects, they ARE the objects they represent, and this was clarified a bit with Tenna, in how he is aware of how he entertained the two families for so long and they stopped watching him, as well other characters like King (Lancer's Dad), Spamton, and Jevil being aware of how they were discarded and not used anymore (Jevil being a special case, as he was never used since he is a joker card), and all the times they were played with were before they existed in dark worlds. We find out that Tenna is overjoyed with being appreciated by someone else, as long as he isn't discarded. All the Darkners do seem interested in making the Lightners happy except for the discarded ones, just like their real life objects are originally intended for. All the Darkners are also caricatures of their objects, Lancer is a Jack of spades so he's a goofball, Rouxls is the rules card and always wants to be in a position of control, Spamton spouts nonsense as spam emails do, Queen is the random chaos of the internet, Gerson in chapter 4 is a caricature of the Gerson that once lived. What could Ralsei even be a caricature of? A deeply traumatized plushie? A dead kid? 2. The message of UNDERTALE is that it's okay to move on from fiction you were once attached to, because the character's are just that, characters. 3. DELTARUNE is described in it's own trailer as a, "heartfelt journey of humor and friendship," and it so far seems to be exploring what friendship really means and what real friends are like with Kris, Susie, and Ralsei. 4. DELTARUNE keeps giving us moments where Ralsei denies himself as a real person and denies himself from living a life for himself and we are meant to feel bad about this. He asks Kris and Susie to "move on" when they get tired of him. When Asriel says almost word for word the same thing in UNDERTALE, it is meant to be heartwarming, because it is telling the player that it's okay to move on and forget about Asriel because he is a character and he will be the same whether we stay or not. This is also one of the biggest reasons for me now of why RALSEI IS NOT ASRIEL. in any way, shape or form. His name is an anagram for Asriel because he is the NARRATIVE ANTITHESIS of what Asriel represented. 5. It doesn't really matter if Ralsei declared himself a Darkner in chapter 3, he's already been shown to be heavily misguided. Now I am going to explain why this all means Ralsei can't be a Darkner (IN MY OPINION). IF we are meant to agree with Susie and Kris and believe that Ralsei can be his own person, and the game wants us to treat him as a genuine friend and all that jazz, yet the dark worlds represent escapism, and UNDERTALE has already established the perspective Toby Fox has on how we should interact with fiction, then if Ralsei truly is a Darkner, this tonal dissonance is created. Kris and Susie would inevitably move on from Ralsei and he wouldn't have a purpose past inspiring emotions in Susie and Kris. The game's narrative wants us to be in support of Ralsei learning to be himself and live for himself, if he is a Darkner, then he is an escape and an adventure for Susie and Kris, which as a conclusion to the story wouldn't feel like a, "heartfelt journey of humor and friendship." Ralsei would be to Susie and Kris what Susie and Kris are to us playing the game. So what about the alternative? Why did i say Ralsei is the narrative antithesis of Asriel? If Ralsei is a real person then it reinforces every message that the game has. The message that the characters in the fiction you interact with are not your friends is not muddied. The themes of friendship are more powerful, because if RALSEI IS NOT A DARKNER, then it means that RALSEI IS NOT AN OBJECT. A PERSON IS NOT AN OBJECT. PEOPLE ARE NOT TOYS. YOUR FRIENDS DO NOT EXIST TO ENTERTAIN YOU. I am of the firm belief that this is where Ralsei's story is going. While Asriel is meant to show you that characters and games and objects aren't and can never truly be your friends, Ralsei is meant to show that friends are not games, characters, or objects meant to be played with. I think that DELTARUNE will lead to revealing that Ralsei was never an object, and that he was always a real person with his own life in the context of the game. This would be a heartwarming message about friendship directed at people pleasers who think of themselves as objects and at narcissists who don't quite understand that other people don't exist to help them. Saying that YOU ARE NOT AN OBJECT, and saying that YOUR FRIENDS ARE NOT OBECTS. It would fit in with the other messages that this game is telling, with Susie learning to let people into her life, that friends build each other up and help each other grow; and the messages about moving on, with Kris seemingly stuck in the past and wanting to go back, and Susie wanting her escapist adventure to never end. If Susie and Kris are meant to eventually move on and Ralsei were truly a Darkner, what would that say about his character development? Would it be for naught? If he is a Darkner that somehow becomes a real person, then what does that say about how we should interact with fiction? Should we form unhealthy bonds with fictional characters who aren't real? No. It is my opinion that in the context of the game's story, Ralsei IS real, Ralsei CANNOT be a Darkner, and Ralsei CANNOT be any form of Asriel. However you want to explain it, some gaster intervention, he's a lightner, whatever you want, but i truly think that for his character development to mean something, he can't be a Darkner. And if I'm wrong I'll eat my hat. 

Personal Blog 2

Okay so that was easily the best live action remake to date. Also apparently Gerard Butler was in the movie? Who was he playing? I had to trim the bushes with my dad in the morning but after me and G went to Five Guys, which ended up not being the smartest, because I blew up the school toilet in the middle of summer band rehearsals. Got home and was questioned by my parents out of nowhere. Finally have some peace, in my room. Gotta close the door though because they're blasting fox news.

Bye.

- Basil

Edit: Just remembered that today marks the moment when we are closer to 2050 than 2000. It was princess Diana's birthday on Tuesday too.

Edit 2: I also forgot to mention that the guy at the cashier and the one at movie concessions were both really pretty.

Edit 3: The cashier was also bilingual and a redhead.

Personal Blog 1

Kind of upset tonight, hasn't been the best week. Plans with friends have fallen through a bunch, its been like 2 weeks since I've hung out with anyone, which is mainly the fault of what I call indoctrination camp, but at least tomorrow I'm gonna be able to hang out with my friend G (not sure if I should put names in here or not yet). We're gonna watch the live action How to Train Your Dragon and getting Zaxby's after. I've been playing DELTARUNE and Sea of Thieves which has been fun. Currently stuck on Hammer of Justice fight. I gave up on Roaring Knight the other day, i can always go back and do that one on another save.

Goodnight.

Basil

Edit: I forgot to say but I made a bunch of stuff like this blog and a personalized homepage for my browser.