Personal Blog 19

I hurt my friends a lot recently. I became really jealous of losing them as friends that I started doing things that just ended up hurting them. I didn't check in with them. I sidelined things and lied because I was worried about losing them. I broke so many promises. I failed to support them when I needed to. I disrespected their boundaries, And I acted impatiently. They confronted me and one asked for space while the other asked for me to make an active effort to respect their boundaries. And in the high stress of the performance week for our school play, I completely fucked that up. Now they both want space. I'm going to improve myself. I'm not going to let it be an empty promise this time. I'm going to ask G to help me be a better friend. I'm going to ask him to keep me accountable to listen, check in, appreciate, tell the truth, keep my promises, support, respect boundaries, build up my friends, be patient, and have them know that I am thankful. I won't force myself back into their lives until I've actually improved myself. I'm starting with the man in the mirror.

- Basil 

Personal Blog 18

 This is the worst I have felt ever.

- Basil

Personal Blog 17

So so so so so busy, but all I want to say right now is the lyrics to Hymn of Acxiom, but written cohesively.

Somebody hears you, you know that inside.
Someone is learning the colors of all your moods to say just the right thing and show that you're understood.
Here you're known.
Leave your life open, you don't have to hide.

Someone is gathering every crumb you drop, these mindless decisions and moments you long forgot.
Keep them all, let our formulas find your soul.
We will divine your artisan source in your mind; marshal feed and force our machines to design you a perfect love, or- better still- a perfect lust.

Oh how glorious, a brand new need is born.
Now we possess you. You'll own that in time.
Now we will build you an endlessly upward world.
Reach in your pocket, embrace you for all you're worth.

Is that wrong?
Isn't this what you want?
Ah, Ah, men.

Goodnight,

- Basil